A Small Charred Face Read online

  I closed my eyes, and the afterimage of the morning was on the backs of my eyelids. It was maybe the first time I’d ever gone to sleep at this hour, I thought, and in the next instant, I lost consciousness. Wrapped in light, I slept.

  In the evening, someone came to visit. I thought it might have been Mr. Yu. It was unusual for sweet little Nako to miss school, so maybe he was worried about me. Kind Mr. Yu, always pretending he didn’t care, was in reality a worrywart.

  “Hallo!” came a forlorn voice. It was Mr. Yu. “Nako?” How weak it sounded. “Come back to school. Come tomorrow… I mean, how could you stop just like that? Your teacher here’s had enough of that. All you kids, you just disappear… No matter what I teach you… That it should all be in vain… It’s not! Halloooo!”

  And then, just when I thought he’d gone, he continued, “Think about the scholarship. I’ll sit down and talk to your brother!”

  Right. Mr. Yu had checked into a scholarship for me so that I could go on to high school. But I had kind of put off talking about it with Mustah and Yoji.

  No one came out to welcome him in, so after a while, Mr. Yu gave up and went home. No doubt he would have been shocked to find out his student was tied up with straw rope behind the sofa.

  Mr. Yu… Yoji. Hey, Mustah…

  I drifted off to sleep again.

  Around the time the sun was starting to go down, I woke up again. My mind, which had been filled with cotton since last night, was finally crystal clear. I couldn’t sit up or stand, but I moved my head back and forth and took some deep breaths. Outside, the sea twisted gently.

  Just as I thought, Aah, the sun’s setting, I heard a loud bang. I looked back and saw the lid of the chest in the center of the small room popping up, exploding outward. Two faces appeared simultaneously above the side of the chest.

  Rather than standing up slowly and gracefully like they usually did, the Bamboo leaped out, pushing and shoving at each other, panicked. Yoji leaped in my direction, but he overshot, missing me by quite a bit, while Mustah flew up and slammed his head against the ceiling, like a bird that had somehow gotten into a human house.

  Finally, two sets of eyes peered at me from either side. The Bamboo held their breath.

  I looked back at them in confusion. “What?”

  They said nothing. With no other choice, I waited.

  “Aah, thank God,” Yoji sighed, eventually.

  “Yeah! You’re not a Bamboo! Honestly, goddammit! I—aah, you did it, Kyo!” Nothing Mustah said as he roughly wrapped his arms around me made a lick of sense. His beard stabbed my cheek painfully. The thick scent of bamboo filled my nostrils. The ticking of the wall clock seemed excessively loud.

  They looked at each other and nodded slowly.

  “The flame’s not out!”

  “Mm. Thank God. I thought I’d maybe put it out by accident. Like I’d done something I couldn’t take back. But I was wrong. The flame’s still here!”

  “Kyo! Aah, this is just great, Kyo!”

  My mind grew even clearer. “What do you mean, I’m not a Bamboo?” I asked as they finally untied me, my voice slightly hard.

  They looked at me together, expressionless. Their eyes glowed eerily with a glittering chill, utterly inhuman.

  “So, with Bamboo, you see? Some Bamboo were born Bamboo, and then there are the Bamboo who were once human, who got turned into Bamboo,” said Yoji. “I’ve been a Bamboo ever since I was born. I’ve seen a lot of history, albeit from deep in the mountains. If I told you my real age, I’m sure you wouldn’t believe me. When I came to Japan from China, I changed my name and everything else to start a new life.”

  “And I was born a human and got turned into a Bamboo. There’s a whole bunch of stuff I’m still not quite used to. That’s why I’m so stupid and slow. Tch!” said Mustah.

  “How does a person become a Bamboo?”

  “It’s a blood infection.”

  “So that’s why, okay? Something like yesterday was so dangerous. If human blood and our blood… Well, that liquid, if they mix, you turn into a Bamboo. And once that happens, you’re stuck being a miserable creature that lives on blood and can only go out at night. And that’s the end of your growth too—middle school for a century. It’s an existence without a flame. So that was seriously a close call, y’know.”

  “I sucked out the blood before it could circulate through your body,” Yoji said. “Well, I’ve been around for a while, so I just sort of knew.”

  “But, Kyo, hon, are you really okay?” Mustah asked. “You do look pale, actually.”

  I was sitting quietly on the sofa, listening to Mustah and Yoji seated on either side of me. Yoji was holding my hand, while Mustah had a hand on the nape of my neck. They were super overprotective and treated me too much like a child, but for tonight at least, there was probably nothing I could do about it.

  My feelings were complicated after finding out that I had just barely avoided being transformed into a Bamboo. Even I didn’t how exactly I felt. Was it fear? Or…

  “Mustah, what happened to you?”

  “I was almost dead. It was either die or be a Bamboo. So I became a Bamboo.”

  “Back then, I came to Japan as an immigrant. I was alone, and I guess I was pretty dirty looking. So people stayed away from me. And I could hardly get any real work,” Yoji said.

  “This one night, I was racing along on my motorcycle, delivering kebabs, when I happened to run into some thugs from some organization up on the hill. Stray bullet hits my carotid artery.” Mustah pointed to the side of his neck. “That was that, y’know?”

  “I found him, though,” Yoji said. “The scent of blood lured me in. But we have a rule that you can only eat the dead, so I couldn’t drink his blood until he’d died. So I was just waiting politely.”

  “Like, for me to die completely. What a creep, huh!”

  “No, it’s just nature.”

  “But I guess he changed his mind all of sudden. Like, he looked into my eyes and saw something that made him think, ‘Oh ho! Maybe I could get along with this guy.’ ”

  “He was dying, but he looks up at me and says, ‘Wash your face. It’s filthy!’ and laughs. And then I realized with a gasp that that was why I couldn’t get a job, why no one would come near me, why I was alone,” Yoji said.

  “So he decided to make me his comrade. He infected me. And then he locked me up the first day, y’know? Because I’d get crazed. And it’s true—all your organs and everything in your body change. It’s impossibly painful. But I guess it was a fair bit better than dying like a dog on the side of the road.”

  “And then, once it was the two of us, I found work right away. Maybe because I had someone to groom me, to clean me up,” Yoji said. “Well, I still have to change jobs every few years or so, since I don’t visibly age. But it’s a peaceful life. To the point where you have to wonder if it’s actually a good thing.”

  “Because you won’t die, no matter what happens.”

  “Right. But that’s because there’s no flame. So it won’t go out,” Yoji said.

  Having said that, Yoji and Mustah looked at each other. A sad silence rolled by. No, more than sad—regretful. Like they couldn’t completely accept the fact that there was no flame.

  Yoji stroked my head. Mustah squeezed my hand.

  Even as I thought it was maybe weird to say it now, my teacher’s voice came back to life in my ears. “Um, hey?” I said suddenly. “Can I go to high school?”

  They both stared at me blankly, so my voice got smaller.

  “I-I was going to say something, you know, but… Mr. Yu checked out scholarships for me. Told me to ask my brother. I mean…anyway, it’s still next year, but…”

  The expressions on their faces slowly softened.

  “What? You’re going to study, take the entrance exam, go to high school? Ama
zing!”

  “And then you’ll be all grown-up, and you’ll take the exam for employment somewhere and be a full member of society? You? But you were so little! Aah, really?”

  “What? So…it’s okay?”

  The two of them stood and held hands. And then they looked down on me and, almost overcome with emotion, said, “Of course it’s okay. Thank you, Kyo!”

  “Huh?”

  “Do you have any idea how happy we are that you’re so filled with hope, so bright, so healthy? How delightful every day is?” said Yoji.

  “Okay, now you’re being over-the-top. Right, Mustah?” I looked up toward the other Bamboo. His lips were also pulled tightly together, and his eyes glittered with something like tears. “C’mon, even you, Mustah?”

  “Aah, you just keep getting bigger, huh, Kyo! Already in high school next year! You really—y’know, you’re growing up so fast, you’re so adorable.”

  “Come on…”

  Their smiling faces were dazzling, entirely free of shadow. So I smiled back, albeit bewilderedly. Beyond the glass windows, the sea rolled in and pushed back out, and rolled in again.

  Mustah said he wanted to measure my height and led me over to the pillar. He held the ruler up and made a mark. “Whoa! You grew almost another whole centimeter!”

  Delighted, Yoji came over. “Kyo, maybe you—you might end up being a real beanpole. I don’t know what we’ll do if you get even bigger than we are!”

  “As if!”

  The pair exploded with laughter.

  The ocean twisted gently on the other side of the window. The lazy breeze seemed soft, and everything looked serene. The flames of the candles, now fairly small, flickered quietly.

  Fair

  “Kyo. Kyo, hon! Come on! Wake up!”

  “Ah!”

  “It’s morning, sleepyhead!” Yoji said in his kind voice, and then Mustah got in on the act by poking me, so I hurriedly yanked myself up.

  The breaking dawn on the other side of the window burned red. Inside the room, the flickering flames of the candles on their candlesticks were so small they looked like they would go out at any second.

  I suddenly remembered the night when, in that very place, I’d rejoiced with the two Bamboo that I hadn’t been infected with Mustah’s blood. It still seemed like yesterday, despite the time that had passed since then.

  When I got up from the sofa, Yoji was putting blood packs into the large refrigerator. Mustah took the old camera down from the bookshelf and fooled around with taking my picture while I was still foggy headed. I grumbled to myself, but I couldn’t be angry when I saw that cloudless smile. Quietly shrugging to myself, I went to wash my face. Lately, the pair annoyed me in the way of adorable children who never shut up.

  I changed into my uniform—my high school blazer and pleated navy skirt. It was getting chillier these days, so I wrapped a scarf around my neck too. A cute one with a heart pattern to make Yoji relax. Pulled back my brown hair in a ponytail. It really was long like a horse’s tail, and the ends curled up and around.

  By the time I returned to the living room, they were already gone. Turning around, I saw the lid of the chest in the middle of the small room slowly being lowered.

  “Okay, I’m off then!” I said, just in case.

  “Okay! Good night!”

  “Don’t forget to take your breakfast with you, Kyo!” came Yoji’s voice.

  And then Mustah spoke, sounding dissatisfied. “And what do you hope to get out of making him any bigger than he already is? Kyo’s head is going to go right through the roof…”

  Their giggling voices receded and then disappeared completely when the lid came down, leaving behind nothing but a faint white fog. The sense of something else alive in the house abruptly vanished.

  I turned on my heel, picked up my heavy bag, and went out the door. Dawn.

  Outside the house was a vintage scooter. Not a single one of the students in the high school in the town above was broke enough to be forced to ride a machine like this, but it didn’t really bother me. The custom job Mustah had done on it was perfect, so the thing ran well, at any rate. I set out, riding roughly on the pockmarked road along the coast at daybreak. My shining future was just up ahead.

  I climbed the hill. When I went around the curves, the bike and I both listed to one side. My eyes ran over the people of the lower town who were out on the job already, one after another. Delivery. Construction. I often spotted children mixed in among them. I’m sure my old friends were in there somewhere too. But we hadn’t talked in a long time; I wouldn’t have noticed them in that crowd. And I mean, from their side, in my uniform I would have looked like nothing other than one of the high school students from above that they always saw.

  I pursed my lips and abruptly remembered something Mr. Yu had told me. Nako, it would be great if you went to high school, studied hard, and then got to go on to higher education. It’d really open up your future options. You’d have a real stable life waiting for you then.

  And I want to give you the help you need, he’d continued, with something like a sigh. I don’t want to see any more talented kids trapped in dead ends. I used to be a helpless little kid once too, but I’m a teacher now, so I should be able to prevent at least a few of those hard destinies.

  As I approached the town above, the streets started to change. High-class mansions and broad roads like a theme park. There was almost no one out working at that hour.

  I drew closer to the school. I could see the cross rising up. Housed in a building that at first glance looked like a church, the Korean-funded school was Christian. I raced onto school grounds, the engine roaring like the machine was angry. I dashed into the library through the back entrance, took my seat, and opened my textbook. I had always been good at slipping in through the kitchen door or sneaking in through a back entrance.

  I got right down to studying. Above all else, a scholarship student needed to have grades that were far and away superior to any rivals in the same grade. And that applied double if you wanted another scholarship to go on to university. If you were burning with ambition, you had to put in the effort.

  I had never expected to return to the town above in this form. But seeing the person I was now, no one would connect me with the boy who had disappeared without a trace from the organization’s tight grip that night long ago.

  Hymns wafted down to me from the school chapel, and I unconsciously started humming along, joining my voice with those of the singers, who were so certain of the love God had for them. Eventually, I twisted the words into blasphemous lyrics that fit neatly with the song to accompany the melody.

  Dear Lord of this town. I survived. A miracle. And I came back here. Can you see me? Or maybe you’ve long since forgotten the events of that night, you shitheel of a god?

  During class, my head stuck out above the others since I was taller than even the boys. But no one suspected that this girl was actually a boy. It was a strange thing.

  A few of the girls could have been called cute, but that was basically as far as it went for me. Maybe I didn’t really have time for that. I desperately followed the characters as they were spelled out on the blackboard.

  After class, I worked part-time in a cozy, expensive cake shop. Yoji had reacted with “Someone might find you!” but Mustah had had my back. Scratching his bearded chin, he’d said, “Whoa, whoa, take a look at him, though. Does this look like the same Kyo from back then? He’s about five times as tall. And he’s a girl, y’know? Plus, if he gets a job down here, we’ll never stop worrying about his safety.”

  As always, they were both overprotective. And even though they were just barely making ends meet, they absolutely refused to take the money I made at my job. They went and made “Little Kyo’s Piggy Bank” and tucked every bit of it away for me.

  Around the time the sun was setting, I changed ba
ck into my school uniform and headed back down to the town below. I sped up as I descended the hill. It was cold out. As forward-looking and hardworking as I was, I loved danger and thrills for some reason. So I didn’t let up on the accelerator, not even on the curves.

  “Nako!”

  When I had gone around the ninth curve, a skinny man jumped out from the side of the plant where they canned the fish brought into the port. This was where they made the cans that Yoji often brought home for me. I nearly ran the man down but managed to come to a screeching stop.

  Black, tanned from the sun, eyes sunken. Only when I peered into those black eyes did I finally realize I was looking at one of my friends from that old prefab school. I didn’t jump off the scooter but stayed as I was with my hands on the handlebars. If I let my guard down just because it was someone I knew, I could get punched or have my money or even my scooter stolen. You had to steel yourself, or you’d die pretty quick down here.

  For a second, the boy looked like he’d taken a punch to the nose at this wariness from an old friend. He held his tongue regretfully. And then, “Mr. Yu died.”

  “Huh?” My voice was high.

  The boy went ahead and straddled the back of the scooter without asking. As if he’d completely forgotten that the world we lived in had changed and I had been afraid of him only seconds earlier. He wrapped his skinny arms around my waist.

  “Last night! Stabbed on the road near the school. They said his wallet was missing! Even though there couldn’t have been much in it, eh? It was too late when they found him, just a bit ago. He was thrown onto the side of the road like a piece of garbage.”

  “Mr. Yu…” I repeated. I heard my voice trembling. “Hey, where’s Niita?” Now that I thought about it, I hadn’t seen him in ages. My best friend when I was a kid.

  I got a sigh from behind. “So, like, I dunno, right? I guess he’s going all over the place to make a buck. When I saw him last month, he said his price had dropped since he got bigger, and it was tough going. ’Cause everyone wants kids. I thought about getting him to tell you or something, but no one knows where he is now. That’s why I was waiting for you, Nako. Here.”